Eulogy for Arlene

Thank you for being here today. It means more than I can say to look out and see how many lives Arlene touched. I am grateful for the chance to stand here and share a little of who she was to me, to our children, and to so many of you. Speaking in a moment like this is not easy, but it is an honor to tell you about the woman I loved and the life we shared.

Before I share my own words, I want to acknowledge the grief we are all carrying today. My heart is with Arlene’s parents, her family, our three kids, and every friend who loved her. Losing her has left a space that cannot be filled, and I know each of us is feeling that loss in our own way. Please know you are not alone in your grief. We are holding one another up, just as she would have wanted us to.

Standing here today feels impossible, Arlene was not just my wife — she was my partner, my friend, and the heartbeat of our home. For more than twenty-eight years, we built a life together, one filled with laughter, late night talks, and the beautiful gift of raising three incredible children. She was the center of our world, the one who made each of us feel like we were her favorite. Even in her hardest days, she gave every ounce of her love to our kids. Though she left this world far too soon, her love, her strength, and her spirit will live on in us forever. She was always so positive, and always knew how to stay calm under pressure, even all the way through her battle with leukemia.

I want to give her sister, Crystal, all the credit she deserves; for being there for Arlene every step of the way. Crystal, we can’t thank you enough for everything you did for Arlene.

I want to thank the nursing team at Sutter Medical in Sacramento, especially Ryan, Kris, Stacey, and Aimee, who I got to know during her last stay in the hospital. I know the entire team there really cared for Arlene, she was more than just a patient to them, and that shows in the fact that some of you are here today, and that so many of you wanted to be here for her celebration.

One of the things Arlene loved most was books, so I want to tell a little of our story in chapters, the way I saw it through my own eyes

Introduction: Who She Was

Above all else, Arlene was a devoted mother. To her family and to our three children — the light of her life and her greatest joy. Everything she did, she did with them in mind. She parented with compassion, understanding, open-mindedness, and fierce love. She taught our children not only through her words, but through the way she lived — with grace, courage, and integrity. The bond she shared with each of them was unique, and it helped shape them into the incredible young adults they are today. To watch her with our children was to see unconditional love in action. Her legacy will live most powerfully through them, through their strength, their kindness, and their resilience.

Her home was always open, and anyone who walked through the door was treated like family. Besides Christmas, Thanksgiving was her most favorite — she spent days planning and cooking a feast that brought everyone together around one table. She poured her heart into every birthday, holiday, and family milestone, and she made Christmas feel magical, decorating every corner so the house felt full of wonder and joy.

Arlene had a gift for turning ordinary moments into memories. She loved curling up with our kids to rewatch her favorite shows, especially Charmed, Supernatural, and several K Drama shows. Those nights weren’t just about the shows — they were about being together, laughing, talking, and sharing a world they all loved. She could get lost in a good book for hours. She loved trips to Disneyland and listening to music, with a playlist that jumped from House music to K-Pop to System of a Down. She had a quick wit and a sharp, playful sense of humor that could light up a room.

Arlene was not only devoted to her family — she was deeply committed to her work. From working at the tuxedo shop in the Great Mall, to Conroy’s Flowers, to Wells Fargo in Santa Cruz and Tech CU in Fremont before joining her dads trucking company.

Once our kids started going to Presentation, she began working at the school, first as a room mom, then in the lunchroom, and eventually in the front office. She also headed the booster club for Mikaelas gymnastics teams for years on a volunteer basis.

Chapter One: Our Story

Arlene and I met in 1997 at Overfelt High School in San Jose. We only had a few classes together over the years, but in the spring of our Senior year I started to really notice her. We had a few mutual friends, some of whom are here today. I remember hanging out with Dorina, Karla, and Noemi at the band room, mostly so I could be near Arlene during my open sixth period. In the mornings, I would wait for her to start walking in from the parking lot, and once I saw her coming up the walkway, I would start walking that way and “accidentally” run into her just to say hi.

Eventually I worked up the nerve to give her my number on an empty Reese’s Pieces box. This was 1997, so it was probably my pager number. Not long after we started talking, we went on our first date. We went to the Capitol Theatres to see National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation, and of course we had a chaperone — her cousin Renee. One of the first times I met her parents, we were going to dinner at Carrows on Tully for her mom’s birthday. I showed up with green hair, and I remember her mom trying to figure out what exactly was going on with my hair color.

My family’s lucky number is 13, and once I found out her birthday was on September 13, I thought that was a sign, and knew she might be the one for me.

One of my earliest memories with Arlene was our senior trip to Los Angeles. I had never gotten on a roller coaster before, but she is the one who coaxed me to get on. Looking back, I think that is when I really began to fall for her. I can say that after that day, I felt safe around her and things were going to be less scary.

After high school, Arlene went to Mission College for two years and then transferred to UC Santa Cruz. She worked full time at Wells Fargo while taking full credits and graduated in 2001 with her degree in Psychology. She went on to work in the banking industry for a few years before beginning working with her dad.

So many memories have flooded into my mind, but most of my memories start from when Arlene first became a mom. Arlene really started to shine once we had our children. Before kids, she was more on the shy and introvertive side, but having our kids really opened up who she really was. “Mom” is the title that she embraced the most. One of the things that really brought her out of her shell was

leading Mikaela’s gymnastics booster club. During our fundraising events, she would be in total control. She would take the microphone and really lead in those situations. I was always so proud of her for doing that.

Chapter Two: Favorite Memories

I’ll never forget the countless moments that capture who Arlene was — not just as a partner, friend, or mother, but as a person. She had this way of making every experience feel special, whether it was something big and exciting or something simple and quiet. Our trips to Disneyland will always be some of my favorite memories.

With Little, they shared a passion for K-Pop. They could get completely wrapped up in a show together, singing along, laughing, and talking about their favorite shows and artists. It wasn’t just about the music — it was about having something that was theirs, a shared joy that connected them in a way only they could understand.

With Gianna, music and swimming was a gift passed down from Arlene, she played clarinet and swam at Overfelt. Arlene loved going to her violin performances and swim competitions, proud of every note she played and every lap she swam. She knew music wasn’t just a skill — it was a part of Gianna’s heart, and she celebrated that gift every chance she got.

With Mikaela, she was her biggest cheerleader. — Arlene was always there, watching her practice 4 times a week for hours at a time. I will always remember our family trips to support Mikaela’s competitions and turning those trips into family vacations in Seattle, Palm Springs, and Arizona. Cheering from the sidelines with her homemade signs, making sure Mikaela knew how proud she was no matter the outcome.

And then there was our trip to Seattle. One evening we took a walk and ended up at a little coffee shop. She opened one of her favorite books and read while I sat beside her. There was no need for words. It was a moment of quiet connection, one of those rare times when simply being in each other’s presence was enough.

These stories capture her essence — present, proud, joyful, and deeply invested in the people she loved most.

For Our Kids

Kids, your mom gave you such a strong and sturdy foundation. Just know that we are both so proud of the three of you. You don’t have to do anything more or be anything different to honor her. The people you are today are everything we could have ever hoped for. Keep being your authentic selves. The content of your characters shine through — in the respect you’ve always shown to others, and in the company you keep. Your mom loved all of your friends as if they were her own.

Chapter Three: In Closing

There are no words to take away the pain of losing someone so deeply cherished. I know that her absence is felt in every quiet moment, and in all the spaces where her laughter and voice used to be. But I also know that her love is still here — in the memories you carry, and in the ways she changed your life just by being in it. Some people are reminded of their loved ones when a hummingbird is flying close, or when a single white feather is in their path. For me, every time I see a purple flower, I will know that you are there looking down on us, and it will forever bring a smile to my face, knowing you are near.

Her presence was a gift. She brought light, comfort, and a kind of understanding that is rare to find. She made ordinary days brighter and the hardest days bearable. I know she will be missed in ways that words can not capture, and I also know that the bond you shared with so many is something that can never be broken.

As I stand here, I think about what we can learn from Arlene’s life. She showed us that love is not just a feeling — it is an action. It is in the meals you cook, the traditions you keep, the laughter you share, and the time you give to the people you care about. She taught us to be present with each other, to make moments matter, and to never underestimate the power of kindness — or a little humor — in lifting someone’s day.

To honor her memory, may we carry her light forward by living the way she did — with an open heart, a generous spirit, and a fierce love for family. May we keep her traditions alive, tell her stories often, and hold each other a little closer.

Though she is no longer with us in body, her spirit lives on in the values she instilled, in the warmth she gave so freely, and most of all, in our three beautiful children. Every time they laugh, every time they show compassion, every time they face the world with courage — she is there.

Arlene, rest in peace. You will be loved and remembered by so many. Until we meet again, may your perpetual light shine down on us and on your soul for eternity. We will forever keep you in our hearts and remember the love and joy you gave all of us in your time here.

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